That’s some spicy mayo…
Writing by Demy on Wednesday, 25 of June , 2008 at 2:09 pm
When I first caught wind of the Heinz Mayo gay kiss commercial controversy, I was understandably intrigued. A mayo commercial featuring a gay kiss that received so many complaints about how racy it was that it needed to be pulled from the airwaves? Surely I was in for a treat! So imagine my surprise when I finally tracked down the offending advert (presented here courtesy of this crazy little website called “youtube”) and actually watched it. I quite literally sat dumbfounded for a few seconds, wondering aloud to my empty bedroom, “That’s it?!” I had expected so much more from a commercial that had generated so much buzz that I was actually a little (very) disappointed.
The commercial, which is meant to advertise Heinz’s Deli mayo, shows a family getting ready for work and school, with the traditional mother figure (shown preparing the family’s lunch for the day) replaced by a New York deli man, complete with thick accent and attitude.
The controversy stems from the man on man kiss between the deli man and the father figure at the end of the commercial that parents and concerned citizens say is inappropriate for children and raises the “uncomfortable” issue of discussing same-sex relationships with kids who might stumble across it. Based on what the commercial actually shows, both arguments seem like a ridiculous overreaction, so let’s start at the beginning: the so-called “inappropriateness” of the kiss.
Now, if the men in the commercial had shared a passionate kiss, and I mean really snogging in a way that tells you something more is about to happen, then I might have relented. I might have actually swallowed my pride and said, “Good call, parents of the UK. I certainly wouldn’t want Junior exposed to that quite yet.” I might have relented, but I’ll never know for sure because the kiss on the commercial is hardly more than a peck on the lips. You know the quick kiss you give someone to say goodbye? That was the extent of it. Give me five minutes with a remote and I’ll bet that I can find you a kiss that is far more inappropriate than the one Heinz showed. Between television, the internet, and just being alive and living in the world we do, kids are exposed to far worse things on a daily basis. It’s a fact of life, no matter unfortunate it may be. And so I ask you, parents and concerned citizens: was it the quick kiss that raised your hackles, or the fact that the kiss was shared between (le gasp) two men? Until now I wasn’t aware that there was a sliding scale in terms of what is and is not appropriate. Its okay for children to see people making out as long as it’s between a man and a woman, but two men kissing will scar them for life? Something about this seems a little off. Not to imply that anyone is a homophobe or anything like that…
But let’s move on to the issue of exposing kids to same-sex relationships. The argument is that the commercial exposes children to an alternate lifestyle that parents are not ready to explain yet. Which, quite frankly, doesn’t quite make a whole lot of sense to me. It’s as if the commercial has some magical power that forces parents to explain to their children that some kids have two daddies or two mommies. If you believe your children aren’t ready to hear the facts of life, then don’t explain it to them yet. When a small child sees something they shouldn’t and asks questions, I don’t know many parents that break out the Kama Sutra book and start explaining. No. They make an excuse and distract the little tyke with ice cream or something shiny until the day when they’re old enough to understand. How is this any different? Parents, it’s your job to decide how to raise your kids and stick to what you think is best. If you allow your plan for childrearing to be usurped by mayonnaise, then there might be a deeper problem. Oh, and by the way, the ad doesn’t even run during any programs that are intended for children.
And lastly, Heinz, shame on you for pulling the ad. I understand the need to cater to every whiny Dick and Jane in the world so you don’t find yourself slapped with a boycott, but what you just did was not only pull what I believe to be a brilliant ad, but you just made it seem like same-sex relationships are something to be hidden away. The advertising company you employ did a fantastic job of creating a funny, entertaining commercial that definitely got the point across. Using Heinz Deli Mayo is like having a New York deli man right in your kitchen. Boom. There it is. It works. Be proud of the commercial, because it is a good one. And if parents and concerned citizens keep whining, you might want to direct them here for a little talking to.
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Comment by Presto
Made Wednesday, 25 of June , 2008 at 3:22 pm
Agreed. The commercial is gold. NY deli man getting requests from little British kids calling him mum is entertaining and gets the message of the product across really effectively. It getting pulled is garbage. Heinz shouldn’t pull a good commercial because parents don’t feel like explaining something. That and there’s commercials with plenty worse sexual innuendos that would raise a lot more kiddie questions. This one is just being pulled because same sex relationships is “controversial.” Sex in tv isn’t.
I’d like to see what would happen if the ad was aired on US tv.. Good writin’ Demy!
Comment by Tim
Made Sunday, 6 of July , 2008 at 12:51 pm
Reminds me of one of my favorite Jello Biafra quotes: “What if parents, cops, and school officials really are stupid?” I get a good, hearty laugh out of these issues, but it scares me a little at the same time. Parents really do expect things besides themselves to raise their kids, and when they see a gay kiss or hints of a same-sex relationship on YouTube, it’s the TVs fault. And I don’t think any of us see a rush to ban the Youth Of America from the internet or cable TV, do we?
