(Un)intentional wisdom.
Writing by Tim on Monday, 23 of June , 2008 at 3:36 pm
Image Disclaimer: I have no doubt and have not set out intending to insult Mr. Obama’s intelligence. I am not insinuating that he has caught The Stupid or anything like that. Read on to see the signifigance of the image.
I’m not the type to recommend books. I find the types who go around telling me what I should read insufferable, as if they need to shove their intelligence wang in my face to show me how big it is. And since I have not gotten around to reading the book, it is more of a general announcement of its creation than a “go read this.” Drew Curtis, the mind behind one of my favorite websites and something that gives about 10% of the justification for the Internet’s existence (the other 90% being YouTube), Fark dot com, has written a book: It’s not News, It’s Fark: How the Media Tries to Pass Off Crap as News. I’ve always found you can tell a great deal about someone from their book collection. I recall that somewhat elated feeling I get when I enter a recent acquaintances living space and see a copy of Downsize This! on their bookshelf. Of course, most people in the country don’t read or have book collections. In that case, you’re just a douche, and no, (personal pronoun) I do not feel I am being a (negatively connotative noun) with that (expression of opinion).
I’m sorry; I seem to have gone into a kind of trance there. Maybe I should get that checked? The image above actually doesn’t have anything to do with books or the recommending of. Suffice to say I was inspired to write on this topic based on a headline I saw on Fark. Barak Obama recently made the statement that (in paraphrase) the US should deal with Osama bin Laden in a way that does not make him a martyr to Al Queda, terrorists, and Ted Kaczynski fans everywhere. One wry reporter asked him how he would go about this, and he responded with a confidence-boosting “Uh, I dunno.”
Also in paraphrase.
But Mr. Obama’s point is well taken. Bin Laden is about as close as you get to a beloved rock star in the Middle East. (About as close as you’d get to being an actual rock star is being shot for playing a cover of The Clash’s “Rock the Kasbah” at the Basrah High School battle of the bands and that bitching Fender you got at Al Fayeed’s yard sale would be taken to the black market and exchanged for bullets.) His comment also ties into one of the main criticisms of T.W.O.T, otherwise known as The War On Terror. Launching an assault on Afghanistan to wipe out insurgency turns them from insane gun-wielding maniacs to insane gun-wielding maniac rock stars (bearded Ted Nugents complete with the Jesus complex minus laws that keep you from just shooting people who you think are possessed by the devil, if you will.) The point has been made, time and again, that the more rebels you kill, the more popular the revolution. The same is in play now: for every terrorist we saw in half with streams of hot, American lead, five more take up their guns in protest. The preemptive war that is supposed to wipe terrorism from the map is, in purest bitter irony, laying the groundwork for more terrorism.
Back in 2002, pre Iraq War, the policy for Bin Laden was something along lines of “Catch the bastard and hang him.” And this was fine and well six years ago. He did not have the following that he does now, nor did he have tens of thousands of quote Coalition unquote troops knocking in the doors of people with the same ethnic background as him. Killing him six years ago would have not been ideal because it would have the same martyr effect that it would today, but it would not be to the same degree.
But then we decided that Saddam was pissing us off and, for lack of a gentler way to put it, called off the hunt.
Bin Laden has had six long years to sit and wait, putting out his low-budget video rally calls to gun toting screwballs everywhere. And it is certainly not that Iraqis and Afghans are stupid and fall for it. It is not the lack of intellect or free-thinking that calls so many otherwise average folks to arms. It is the lack of food, clean water, safety (from their own, from American troops, from American contractors sucking up all the jobs and from fuckers like Blackwater), education, housing, medical care, jobs, money, and any other basic need that I have neglected to mention here. Close your eyes and travel back to 8th grade history for a moment. Why did that boring, awful Mrs. McCullough (you know, the sports coach gone teacher who at some point, you swear, was a man?) say that Germany became so aggressive after World War I? Lack of food, clean water, safety, education, housing, medical care, jobs, money, and any other basic need that I have neglected to mention over here. Once again, the big fat stupid Americans have fallen asleep in the back of the class with the other cool kids and failed the goddamn test. At this rate, we’re going to fail History and get stuck repeating 8th grade.
Of course, there are other ways of dealing with Bin Laden that do not involve murder. Unfortunately, any act against him will rally the same kind of support. Jail him, and he is still alive, and his death in federal detention will be waited for patently like the rebuilding of Babylon. Put him on trail and the entire Middle East will get to see his farewell tour before retiring to the American court system. Slap as many labels, war crime charges, and Aces of Spaces on him as possible, and he will play it up the way Castro did when the exploding cigar didn’t work.
I do give a politician props when they are, in those fleeting moments, honest. I don’t know how to deal with Bin Laden other than waiting for him to die of kidney disease. This could be long wait because, apparently, every fucking cave in the Middle East comes with a health care staff and a dialysis machine.
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