Ten Thousand Dollars for… What!?

Writing by Tim on Wednesday, 12 of March , 2008 at 9:04 pm

Since it seems like forever since I’ve tortured anyone with my writing, I’ll rail on about this week(ends?) hot button news item: New York governor Spitzer and his really, really, expensive hookers. There isn’t a whole lot more I can say about the case in terms of fact. Major news media and The Daily Show, which anymore is major news media, have covered just about everything. And I won’t bother posting that retarded photograph of him swallowing his own face in apology because the only way I could possibly make it more widespread is if I photocopied it, stuck it in a frame and sold it in the cheap art-deco section of Walgreen’s for $9.95.

I do, however, have three points to make. First, this is just another case in a long sting of cases that hemorrhage hypocrisy the way an infant would project vomit if you fed her tinned cat food. Spitzer has joined the ranks of Mark Foley, who crusaded against child pornography while having i-Ntercourse with underage kids on MySpace in much the same fashion as the Apple-produced sex robot of the same name would (use your imagination.) Then there is Mr. Family, Larry Craig, Son of Uther von Craig, Bane of Gays, who is found nowhere else but in a bathroom asking a MALE federal agent for a blowjob. Spitzer himself led a crackdown on prostitution, only to be outed as a top ten customer to “The Emperor’s Club.” That’s the whorehouse, not Kevin Klien’s cinematic swift kick in the testes to Dead Poet’s Society fans everywhere.
Second point is that, and I say this with full knowledge that not much time has passed since this news broke the dyke (ha-ha, get it?), but the running media commentary has been, dare I say, nice? Sure, nobody’s paying the guy any compliments, but by now I’d expected to see the politically charged statements loosed from their proverbial cannons (that one is also sexual.) The fact that the Republican-aligned news bots, for example, damn near everything on cable, have not turned this into a feeding frenzy of Democrat-bashing family values freaks is kind of weird. The same could be said about aforementioned offender Craig and the Democrats, but it’s a well known fact that Democrats simply don’t have the balls to go on the attack about anything. I think a different motive is in play here. It would look even more hypocritical of the Republicans to hammer this guy into the ground when so many of their ranks have been caught doing the exact same thing.

Finally, his wife. Come right the fuck on. “Honey, I’ve been doing hookers behind your back for years, will you come with me to my press conference where I resign from my high-profile position? For solidarity’s sake, dear.” What solidarity? The fact that the media sham of politicians public lives is that see-thru at times amazes even me.

I think the overall lesson to be learned from Spitzer and those like him is not to believe everything you see. We live in a time where personality has replaced character, where the illusion of being sincere has replaced actual, real sincerity itself. And this just doesn’t apply to politics. Guys who bodybuild almost always have confidence issues. The people who scream the most almost never have anything to say. The ones who practically bleed apologies from every goddamn orifice are the same ones who never change the way they act. We see it everywhere, but, in my extremely overstated opinion, the trick is to actually judge people on what (or who) they do, not what they say.

Category: Politics

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